Well today I had a very strange conversation with our behaviorist for our son.  She comes to our house once a week for home based therapy to help him work with social issues and such.  Well the big thing we are working on right now is respecting boundaries and authority.  Our son can do really well if hubby is around if it is just me then he is not going to listen nor do what is expected of him.  He doesn’t care if I yell at him; he doesn’t care what consequence I give him he isn’t doing it unless he wants to.  Defiance is just the tip of iceberg when explaining his and my relationship.  He has so much anger that he generates towards me that it is scary sometimes.  Since he is our adopted son, we know that something’s he went through we may never know, but he needs to come to grips with some things before they destroy his and my relationship.  So that is what was on the agenda for therapy today.  And well I wonder if this woman has really ever met me.  She had a suggestion for me and the conversation went like this

‘I believe the problem stems from you not being an authoritive personality to demand your sons respect’ said the therapist

Awkward pause

‘Um uh, I am not sure but maybe you have me confused with someone else’ I said as her comment had baffled me

‘No I don’t from what I have seen (hubby) is the one that lays the rules down and enforces them you don’t demand that your son listen to you and follow your rules’ she said with confidence

Well to sum that up it is a load of crap!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha I mean really has this woman never really paid attention to me.  I am so controlling at times I know that I am making the issue more than it has to be.  Yet she is telling me I am not strong enough personality wise to control and demand our son’s respect.  Well this lady may have just had her last therapy session with us.  Because I don’t think she is paying enough attention to us to be of any help.  I guess the one good thing is that our son looked at her and said ‘is that all you got, yeah well that is not the problem’ it was hard not to smile at this.  I end the session with telling her that I know that my personality is plenty authoritive enough and maybe even a little too much at times.  But that I would pay attention in the next week and see if I can see what she is seeing.  I just kept thinking at what we pay this lady an hour to come to the house, she should have had something more than that.  Maybe I have my expectations set to high on this one.  But I think she should make notes for herself if that is what she needs to keep parents straight in her mind.  I know that hubby is the laid back one I am stickler for the rules around here.  Anyone who has met us will tell you that.  Don’t get me wrong when it matters Hubby speaks up and demands it.  But he is more of a win the war not the battle person, and I am a win everything battle and war included.

      Some good did come out of it all though because son and I had a conversation after she left.  He was very honest with sometimes he hears me and just ignores me because he knows that I will just do whatever it was I was wanting him to do and then he gets a break.  He thinks it is crazy ridiculous that we expect him to help around the house, in his words he said that I don’t have a paying job so my job is take care of the home.  Not have him help me take care of it.  I pity the woman he marries if that is the mindset he is going to have.  Oh who am I kidding with that mindset he is going to be forty and living in our basement. lol